Oops...

I couldn't sleep...
I wasn't alone
In fact i couldn't do anything.
Weird...
I had not dream, off course.
But I kept talking and talking...I was all over the place last night.
And I was talking about you.
All the truth that I can't tell you, and probably never will.
Spend almost all night long talking about you. But, i had use a different name...don't know if he knew you....
The funniest thing about it...is that he was really hearing. (rs...). I told him all the details about the dream that I have...about you.
It was a very short night, but was very, very nice.
Oops...I did it again, and it happened exactly the same way. I just can't learn, can I?
But that's ok.
Everything will be ok.

Poe - By Me.

Não me importo com esse pedaço de terra mundano
Aliás - pedacinho de Terra só --
Aqueles anos de amor, foram esquecidos
Na febre de um minuto
...

Nem sequer noto que o ser mais desolado
Seja mais feliz, mais doce do que eu --
Mas você se intromete com o meu destino
No qual, sou um transeunte.
...

Nem sequer noto que minhas fontes de êxtase
Esteja transbordando em lágrimas
Que o tremor de um beijo
Tem sido paralisado por muitos anos
...

Não é que as flores de vinte primaveras
Tenham mirrado como floresceram
Ou jazem mortas em meu coração
Com o peso de uma era de gelo...
...

Nem que grama poderá prosperar
No meu túmulo -- crescendo ou já cultivada --
Mas que, enquanto eu estiver morta e viva
Eu posso não ser, amor, sozinha.

About what I felt...

I don't how many souls I have
Every moment it changes
Don't even know myself everytime
Never saw or even finished
For exist, I just have soul
And who has it, don't have silence
Who sees are just what sees.
Who feels, aren't what really are.
Ware at what I am and see...
Became them, not myself
Every dream or wish of me
It's where it born, not mine
I am my own landscape
I watch my way
Miscellaneous, mobile and alone
I don't know how to feel where I am
That's why, foreign, keep on reading
Like pages, my being
What goes don't providing
What get forgotten
I see, besides of what I had read
What I judge to feel
Read again and think: "Was me?"
God knows, 'cause he wrote it.

The She

Ela é uma menina legal, ou "legalzinha" se vc preferir. O tipo de pessoa que na maioria das vezes é agradável conversar, não pelo que ela fala, mas talvez como ela fala o que fala. Não tem frescuras, mas manias. Faz o que quer na hora e da maneira que bem entende. Pode ser que também seja o tipo de companhia legal no "role"...ou até mesmo uma garotas que os caras admiram, o tipo q garota que gostariam de ser se fosse uma, mas não o tipo de namorada que gostariam de ter.
....
Talvez ela não seja retartada o suficiente pra ser uma boa namorada...mas retardada o sufciente pra tentar esse impossível. Ela se conhece, sabe do que é capaz e do que não é, mas evita ao máximo expor suas fraquezas. Ela conhece as pessoas que estão por perto, principalmente as mais interessantes, e conhece também o tipo de atitude que essas pessoas tem com ela, nem se surpreende mais. Em todas as cirtunstâncias. As pessoas são assim, previsíveis....acontece, oras.
...
Ela ta sempre "bem", sempre vai mostrar o melhor estado de espírito possível, só chora quando num tem ninguém olhando, e é difícil ter alguém olhando. Por que? Porque ela é covarde, não fraca, mas covarde. Ela é extremamente orgulhosa. E, como alguém disse pra ela outro dia, quem é covarde tem que ter medo de alguma coisa, não se pode ser simplesmente C-O-V-A-R-D-E. Ela tem medo sim, tem todo medo possível das pessoas que ela ama, pois só estas podem fazer mal de verdade. Por isso acha mais seguro não gostar de ninguém, não que possa fazer algo a respeito, mas tenta.
....
Por que será que ela não tem amigos? rs...

Dream a Little Dream of Me...

♫"I just don't know what to do with myself..."♫

Was playing this song last night. I was on class...talking about something that I can't remember...
After while, I look throught the window, was snowing. Snowing flakes of glass, and those flakes doesn't hit anybody.
It was so beautifull.
...
Then, I was on a bus stop (don't know how much time later), I think I was going home. The atmosphere smelled like candy, I almost could see it...it really made me feel like a real person. I think I was happy at that moment.
...
When I arrived, the place was not the same. The place that should be my home, was an Irish pub. I just loved it. I could then spend the rest of the day thinking about myself. About be myself. So, I didn't have to spend any more word.
...
One day after that, i was in class again. Wasn't snowing anymore.

Them

I was about 3 years old. Something happened with my hands....they were blue...
I was in a room...sited on the bed, beside Garfield. We were watching static on tv...
After some minutes, my family started to show up. First came my mother, she was with an vase of flowers...looking for water.
So...they came in the room, "they" was people with purple skin. They was tring to adjust the tv...(wich wasn't working...)
Off course i look at my hands...they wasn't blue anymore. (?) And the grafield was gone.
Then came my sister, she was looking for some coins...probably she had dropped it there...
I asked she what was happening and who the hell were those people...
She doesn't answered, doesn't found the coins...and, in a second, had gone.
After that my neighbour came in a rush, he couldn't see anything...stumbled on my bed...
I woke on the floor, freezing.

Last night

I was in a party, I don't know where or who was those people.
There was a girl. She was very pretty...nice...popular.
I remember that knew i just one person on that house. And he was angry with me (trust me, don't knew why, too).
She...she had everything i wanted.
It's too easy for me to say she doesn't deserve any of that. So I say, she doesn't. Some things I couldn't understand, and probably i never will. But That's ok.
Maybe i'm too selfish.
So...there was a man, telling me to clean uo the house, since nobody wanted me arround.

I get outside, with a pack of cigars and a bottle of wine. Then I started to cry.
She came up With him (who aparently wasn't him, but it was...i know it.)
And he says "can you do me a favour?" and I told him to go to the Hell...
I came back inside, caught my stuff and got out.
That was weird, just before i get out, she was with another guy, another "him"...
she was with everybody that i wanted to be with. I had no friends (so stupid), I had no one to talk, but I have wine and cigars.
Always when it happens (and it really happens) ends in the same way.

Just like talk to nobody...